the stupid and the brave
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• me: what are taxes and how do I pay them?
• school system: worry not
• school system: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
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• Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
• Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
• Guy: Well...yeah.
• Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you
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People always say that it hurts at night
and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3am
is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken.

But sometimes
it’s 9am on a tuesday morning
and you’re standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up

And the smell of dusty sunlight and earl gray tea makes you miss them so much
you don’t know what to do with your hands.

Rosie Scanlan, On Missing Them  (via bluegirls)
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*browses own blog* amazing

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yes, that is britney spears, (who has sold more than 200 Million records, has six #1 albums, 2 diamond albums, has more than 400 awards, and is worth 200 million dollars) waiting in line to be served at starbucks wearing pyjamas

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you could kill a man in any of these dresses, and pretty sure no jury would convict you. those are killing-men dresses, that’s what i’m saying

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I feel like she got a tumblr and saw a new world

Didn’t we all

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my life goals

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Now whenever I read a text post about “literally dying” I will always read it in graham norton’s voice.

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